To fall in love with another person is to access, alter and eventually complete a verbal and non-verbal private language to which all others are barred access.
Each individual possesses a river of symbols, mental imagery and private historical motifs through which a whole life is modulated. This much is apparent, obvious even - but I for one don't always appreciate the automatic or schematic nature of much of my existence.
(What are apparently conscious decisions are probably derived more from memory; the same thought processes and gestures resulting in the same actions. The loop which psychiatrists attempt to break in depressives is nevertheless the notional framework of much non-depressive behaviour.)
When the rivers of two distinct individuals intersect, we can examine (in a limited way) the symbols, mental imagery and private historical motifs of which they are in possession, and compare them with our own.
In carrying out such a comparison, we are in a position to introduce, discard and persist with specific aspects of the private language mentioned above. When I am lost for words in your presence, you will know for what reasons I am lost - it is the set repertoire of my gestures which gives everything away. When I am loath to discuss how I am feeling, you'll read me as easily as a child's picture book, because non-verbal cues persevere when verbal ones cease.
